CLICK HERE TO VIEW MORE NUDE PHOTOS AND VIDEOS

It is always a dangerous move to bring a ball out at the beach. There are always douchebags who have no game that want to impress uninterested ladies with their skills that have not applied to their lives since high school gym class. Unless of course they are gym teachers, and in that case it is still very much applicable.

That being said, playing with a soccer ball on the beach during the world cup is like playing Russian roulette without any empty chambers. You are sure to get wannabes swarming around you, looking to show off their bicycle kick. You might even get some of the pro’s from the competition to join in. If they have already been booted from contention then it is likely that they will try to drown out their sorrows with a beach vacation, and that could take place just about anywhere, so no one is safe.

I do not think there is a worse shame than being shown up on a beach by a pro. It does not matter if it is soccer or ultimate frisbee. Getting embarrassed by their skill makes the thought of a one-way swim into the sunset feel halfway worth it.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW MORE NUDE PHOTOS AND VIDEOS

At first glance, bringing water to the beach might look a little redundant but Ari Lezama is a smart woman. The only double this delightful looking lady deals with is everyone turning their heads for a second time to see the same smoking hot woman again. If anyone is at fault for redundancy it is obviously the onlookers. I, myself, am even being guilty of doing a double take after looking at Ari. Being the hottest woman at the beach can lead a woman to work up quite the thirst. Praise the good Lord for the invention of plastic containers as she would most likely suffer from dehydration if water bottles never existed.

I wonder if Ari knows that she can easily be mistaken for a beached mermaid. She may be missing a tail but I prefer her second half be a pair of legs anyway. She’s beyond beautiful and obviously knows her way around some water. I’d take a wet Lezama 10 out of 10 times. Because even when she’s drenched she’s hotter than the inner thigh region of my slightly overweight aunt. Even the obvious burn from chafing would be nowhere near the same burn felt if you were to touch Ari without a pair of oven mitts.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW MORE NUDE PHOTOS AND VIDEOS

Cindy Alyn is all the woman I’ll ever need. She’s the best example of what a beach ready body is. She’s fully assembled or at the very least not hard to put together like that new fangled furniture that comes from IKEA. She’s broken out of the Spring season ready to enjoy Summer. I wish I was there to assist her because no one likes to hold a big bag while on the beach. And if I was there I could hold and carry both her and the bag. Because I am a gentleman. And gentlemen don’t let beautiful women burn the bottom of their feet on the hot sand.

I’m willing to bet my bottom dollar that Cindy is short for Cinderella. Her amazing figure looks like it came straight from a fairy tale. And she has a face that I could never forget. She’s a woman whose beauty should be talked about for generations to come. If she’s looking for her prince charming I’m definitely him. I may not have a giant chariot make from pumpkin or a fur cape but I can pick her up in my car and compliment her more times than she can count.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW MORE NUDE PHOTOS AND VIDEOS

Yoga is good for the mind and the soul. I would do it more if I was made from the same stretchy material that the silly Gumby character was made from but I’m not. I’m a bit more stiff. But maybe someone like Daniela Lopez Osorio can help me loosen up. I’ve attempted a few positions before, happy baby being my favorite. But I may have a new favorite as Daniela looks oh so swell in downward facing dog. I have to study her in her position so I don’t make any mistakes when I attempt to do it myself.

Her cobra pose is by far the best I’ve ever seen. I could lay right next to her by the pool and we can pretend to be a couple of snakes. She’s one woman whose life I would love to slither into. There may be a diving board there but the only diving I would be doing is diving deep into conversation with such an outstanding young lady. I’d only ask her important questions like “how did you get to be so beautiful” and “is it okay if I compliment your amazing red one piece?”

CLICK HERE TO VIEW MORE NUDE PHOTOS AND VIDEOS

Every time I think of Bambi I tend to tear up. It’s always sad seeing a fictional character in a cartoon lose a loved one. But now I’m aware of another Bambi that also has the power to make a man like myself cry. Melissa Casta Bambi. But the tears she makes run down my face are tears of joy because she’s just so beautiful. And when she has her body wrapped in a bikini it’s a full-time job just to remember not to bawl at such a remarkable sight. Seeing her at the beach is the best present I can receive all year and my birthday as well as Christmas hasn’t passed yet.

I like that Melissa likes small animals. I tend to be an animal lover myself. I’d take my pet pygmy goat to soak up some sun alongside her but I believe we would be barred from entering the beach. Oh how I would love to trade places with her little dog. I’d eat up all attention Bambi had to give out. I’d probably be so overwhelmed that I would also have my tongue hanging out of my mouth as my happiness reflex. I doubt she would be able to carry me around but just having her arm around me in public is more than good enough for me.


CLICK HERE TO VIEW MORE NUDE PHOTOS AND VIDEOS

Everyone wants to date the gorgeous Kendall Jenner, and many people have, which is why everyone is so interested in new footage that shows the modeling sensation possibly on a date with NBA superstar Ben Simmons. He and a mystery woman were caught at the Waldorf Astoria Beverly Hills on a secret date, and even though she does her best to cover her face with her hoodie, someone – probably Kris Jenner – is spreading the word that it’s Jenner in the flesh.


CLICK HERE TO VIEW MORE NUDE PHOTOS AND VIDEOS

Charlie Riina is a woman I think about way more than I should. I even wrote her a small poem. Charlie Riina, fine like china, I would love it if you showed me your… And that’s where I run out of words. I want to say heart but it doesn’t rhyme so it’s back to the drawing board. Or the beach. I think the beach would be the best option to get some inspiration to finish my poem about her. I could stare at her in a bikini and be so inspired that I completely forget to write the words down. Because I don’t believe there’s any string of words that could accurately describe how beautiful Charlie is.

Riina is one woman I’d love to get lost with. If a sailboat with just us two crashed and we were cast away I wouldn’t even feel like I would be stuck. What some would consider to be a lonely island, I would consider to be paradise if she was my partner. I’d hand feed her coconuts until help arrived. I also would secretly hope that help wouldn’t arrive as being trapped on an island with Charlie is more of a blessing than inconvenience.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW MORE NUDE PHOTOS AND VIDEOS

Holy cow! The proportions on Hope Beel have me hoping she peels off the rest of that swimsuit sometime so that I can have nothing left to the imagination. Because right now I am imagining her as the perfect woman, and I do not want that. I want her to have a flaw, or preferably multiple flaws. Otherwise she makes it too tempting to hold other women up to her as the standard of what a woman should be.

So I am holding out hope that on the small amount of skin that is being covered up by that two piece there is a big enough flaw being hidden that will prevent her from ruining my expectations for every other woman in the world. Maybe there some swastikas or hammer and sickles. That might be enough to turn me off of her.

Who knows, maybe there is even a charging port that will prove she is not human at all and is actually a fembot. That would be the perfect outcome, I think. Then I could dismiss all of the hard work that she has put into her body as the clever engineering and design of some Japanese nerds.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW MORE NUDE PHOTOS AND VIDEOS

This has got to be the most candid of all candid photo shoots. I am still not certain if this was an official thing, or if some dude was snapping pics while Jenny Thompson just did her normal thing. Is it possible that Jenny could pose so definitively while being so informal?

There is no way I would be half as photogenic as Jenny if someone was to take pictures of me without my knowledge. I always end up looking like that kid from Mask. Hell, I don’t know if anyone can be as casually photogenic. I have never met a dog who can make casual photos look as easy as this, and it is a known fact that dogs are the most photogenic of all creatures.

Even when a pic is snapped of them bug eyed with their tongue hanging out there is not a woman in the world who would not let it share a bed with them. That is the real test of attractiveness right there. If only I could find a woman who would still look at me affectionately after she’s seen me tarding out.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW MORE NUDE PHOTOS AND VIDEOS

My ninth grade Spanish education tells me Kara Del Toro translates to “Kara of the bull” which is a fitting name considering seeing her in a bikini makes me want to charge at her like she is actually a matador. And given the experience she has dodging men I would bet she could sidestep me with ease, leaving me with nothing but the faint smell of the detergent from her towel. Even that would probably be worth the effort.

Every moment this woman wastes with her body outside of a swimsuit is like she is spitting in the face of all her ancestors. They took great care in breeding with the best of what was available to them so that she could reap the benefits, and that is how she is going to betray them? Over my dead body.

I do not care if I need to complete some B and E’s, but I will steal every outfit of hers that dares to cover that waist and cleavage. When a woman has just the right mixture of tone and jiggle it is a disservice to everyone to hide it away.