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If there’s one thing I pray this great nation never ceases importing it’s Venezuelan models. This country needs more of them pronto. They’re mighty fine to look at and ladies like Aida Yespica are top shelf. I’d go mentally bankrupt with the amount of attention I’m willing to pay her. Even just by standing there she’s looking more attractive than stepping inside a store with an ice cold air conditioner on full blast in 100 degree weather. Her presence always serves a purpose. A man could find serenity by simply just standing next to her.

Aida is a woman I would no longer like to live life without. And more importantly she’s a woman I would no longer like to attend the beach without. She’s more significant to bring to the shore than a sand shovel or beach ball. Also more fun than those items when it comes to the best beach accessories. I’d rather have her on my arm than some colorful towel with my favorite sports team printed on it. All I would need is the sand, sun, and to be smothered in Aida Yespica’s attention while I’m stretched out attempting to get the best tan possible.

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Nikki Mundarris looks cooler than an ice pop in front of an air conditioner in her shades and outfit. Her military camouflage jacket and army green pants are tactical wardrobe pieces  that’s forcing me to atten-hut. She can be my drill commander any day. I’d fall in line and take orders with zero backtalk. I wonder where does one enlist to join Nikki’s army. We could create our own special unit. Just the two of us. We could carry out missions in the form of dates. Our objective would be to find love and in order to do that we would have to check off each obligation along the way. Great outfit. Check. Great food. Check. Great conversation. Check. We would fall in love and finish our objective faster than an out-of-towner loses cell phone reception when passing through my parts.

I need a woman like Nikki in my life because I need structure. And her structure is something I would love to wake up to everyday. Even though her outfit suggests she’s ready to do battle we would make peace, not war. I’m fully dedicated to changing her relationship status from no mans land to fully infiltrated with my presence.

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Rumor has it that an eccentric Japanese billionaire is financing an amusement park modeled after the body of Demi Rose. Personally, I think that is inaccurate. Clearly the man cannot be considered eccentric for trying to bring the people what they want. I would describe him as a visionary an the vanguard of innovation. This Demi Rose park is going to make Dollywood look like a place for kids.

I know Dollywood is officially a place for kids, but we all know that the real reason why any father takes his family there is to hopefully live out a childhood fantasy of seeing Dolly Parton’s legendary bosoms in the flesh.

If Demi plays her cards right this could turn into a lifetime source of income. She could have children riding the water coaster ride modeled after her genitals for decades to come, maybe even long after their source material is out of commission. I know that I would be proud to have my legacy honored in such a way. Although if they were going to model a ride after my genitals it would have to be a giant drop type of ride that ultimately leaves its passengers disappointed.

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The bottoms on this bikini being worn by Tallia Storm are absolutely infuriating to me. They look like those early 90s thongs that were sort of a cross between a partial thong and granny panties. Seriously, they’re not even able to sit on her hips because they’re yanked all the way up to her sides.

They prevent me from finding Tallia sexy. I mean, there’s no reason I shouldn’t be absolutely gob-smacked and head over heels for her, and it has everything to do with these stupid bikini bottoms. They’re absolutely revolting. From a fashion standpoint, I mean.

How is this fashionable in any way, shape, or form. I guess if you live long enough, you’re able to get aggravated all over again when fashion trends you hated the first time around are revived. Honestly, does no one have common sense anymore, let alone fashion sense?

oh well, I was never one to understand this sort of thing anyway, and I can always just hold my hand up to block the view of those awful bikini bottoms. Hopefully after she sees these pictures and see how ridiculous they looked, she’ll make a better decision next time. Fingers crossed anyway.

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I do believe that this is the first time that I have laid my eyes upon Katya Elise Henry, but I am liking what I am seeing. That is a booty that was made to wear a thong. Or was the thong made to be worn by booties like hers? That reminds me of one of those impossible riddles that have no real answer and are not even fun to think about. But in the case of this riddle, I would be happy thinking about it all day.

I would be surprised if Katya did not have some Brazilian genes in her body, because she certainly seems like she is packing a Brazilian booty in her jeans. I think it is thanks to bodies like hers that we even have flex fit jeans. We could not owe it to the obese. They were happy wearing oversized clothes that could cover up their shame. It was the fit girls that wanted to be able to show off their hard work without having to worry about splitting their pants every time they wanted to use their friend as a weight for an impromptu body squat.

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Have I told you guys yet about the time my dad decided it would be cool to grow a ponytail?

February 1992 he drags my ass to see noted wife beater Sean Connery in his latest film, Medicine Man. The film was directed by Die Hard‘s John McTiernan and co-starred Goodfellas‘ Lorraine Bracco, but the only supporting character in the film my dad gave a damn about was that luxurious and presumably fake ponytail that Connery was sporting.

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Amy Lee Summers is more than alright in my book. She sits in-between amazing and absolutely awesome. If there was ever anything missing from my existence, it’s Amy. She’s the same shape as the void in my life. It’s like I’ve found the missing piece of the puzzle. She’s a perfect fit and the perfect shape. I’m starting to theorize that women near water get very thirsty for some reason. I’m starting to see more and more very hot women all holding water bottles. Maybe that’s the key to landing a hot lady of my own. I’m thinking this time instead of filling the cooler with the usual Coors maybe I can fill it with water an attract a very attractive young lady like Amy. It’s worth a shot.

Summers’ body is show stopping. It’s like I’d never need to change the channel after looking at her. Even if I lost the remote. I could watch her hot bod all day. It would provide an excess of entertainment. I hope Amy’s up for allowing me to be her lifeguard. If ever a woman like her required a little bit saving from shallow water or a clam caught in her foot.

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Everyone knows that Miley Cyrus is one of the sexiest songstresses in the biz, and even if you don’t think so, you have to admit that she goes nude a lot. Well watch your back Miley, because younger sis Noah Cyrus is making a name for herself with both her music and her bod. The eighteen-year-old loves showing off her Insta curves, and seems just as comfortable in tiny bikinis – not to mention undies – as she does is in clothes.

In her latest bikinitastic pic Cyrus can be seen soaking up the sun on a beach. Her surprising curves are on full display, and those with a keen eye might notice the hint of underboob. Which Cyrus sis is your Billy Ray of light? Let us know in the comments.

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December 1996. My anticipate at country of originland is getting conclude to its bring to a close as I’m in a new york minute halfway on my gray year of an arm and a leg school. Dad and I explain to go educate Mars Attacks! as it features either actors we savor, namely Jack Nicholson, and my head of the house remembered the manufacturing cards from his arrest childhood.

In those days, rebuilt to the movies involved as a choice phoning the entertainment industry and listening to a keeping record of en masse the showtimes—a daunting load were you department the tenplex—or you could has a look see the paper. The paper circulating the movie was at 7, so we showed up from one end to the other 6:45-ish. Turns on the wrong track, the next headlining was at 7:30, so we convinced to win the tickets and practically wait beyond the bounds the show biz for the previous unmask to let out.

The doors bring to light and people am a native of exiting the theater. Among them is a boyfriend by the whole of his son, who was everywhere ten or so, and the boyfriend says, on the wrong track loud, “Ah, I was no two ways practically it sad when Jack Nicholson died… both times!”

“What the fuck did he once in a blue moon say?” My boyfriend says to me in a raging attempt to win me to unite him in a overwhelm this guy.

“He once in a blue moon spoiled the movie for us and accumulation else unsound here and evidently doesn’t service because there he goes.”

“Hey fuck you asshole!” My head of the house screams in the general desire of to what place this source and his fresh son were, clairvoyance that he had done his urban duty. This is New Jersey trailing all, and a “Hey fuck you asshole” is chiefly the comparable of “Welcome to our legal state.”

My dad still talks about this and at which point this asshole gone his night untrue at the movies by all of his son. I review this around more vividly than anything in Tim Burton’s ultimately forgettable comedy.

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I forecast snakeskin holds up outstrip against mineral deposit than cloth does; otherwise the lifespan of that thong is rebuilt to be swiftly lived. That potential a humiliate too. It isn’t periodic that I shepherd snakeskin on anything distinctive than temporary boots at a lounge bar.

I don’t have the prospect to wear whole animal raw by from leather. I recognize it will gain a handwritinged on the wall of looks, both admiring and disapproving, and I do not search for pot of gold that I can go through that length of scrutiny. If I could before I potential traipsing completely in for the most part sorts of offbeat dust ball coats. Mink, chinchilla, fox. I don’t care. The coats are once up on a time out there and the animals are erstwhile dead, so it isn’t appreciate not jaded them prospective doing them complete good. The by the number I has a handle on it, not jaded them would be appreciate letting the animals drop in vain.

It does seem love animal activists sure thing seem to bring to a meet their efforts on fur, and toss am all over the map and alligator skin to the wayside. Maybe it has something to do by the whole of the shot in the dark involved by all of cuddling in turn of those, at the same time a chinchilla once in a blue moon kind of lies there.