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My ninth grade Spanish education tells me Kara Del Toro translates to “Kara of the bull” which is a fitting name considering seeing her in a bikini makes me want to charge at her like she is actually a matador. And given the experience she has dodging men I would bet she could sidestep me with ease, leaving me with nothing but the faint smell of the detergent from her towel. Even that would probably be worth the effort.

Every moment this woman wastes with her body outside of a swimsuit is like she is spitting in the face of all her ancestors. They took great care in breeding with the best of what was available to them so that she could reap the benefits, and that is how she is going to betray them? Over my dead body.

I do not care if I need to complete some B and E’s, but I will steal every outfit of hers that dares to cover that waist and cleavage. When a woman has just the right mixture of tone and jiggle it is a disservice to everyone to hide it away.

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We can give you some hints, but you will actually, literally not believe who this banging bod belongs to. While the bikini-cation fun looks like it could be being had by a fifty-year-old, the chic chick depicted is actually sixty-three-years-young. She rose to stardom as a supermodel, she may have dabbled in plastic surgery, and she has starred or appeared on roughly four-thousand different reality series of all calibers. Head to the comments to voice your best guess, then click the link below to find out the answer.

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It does not matter how hot a woman is , if I see a person with a paddle then I immediately have flashbacks to my childhood.

That is not because I was physically beat with a paddle, but because my grandma beat me at ping pong while showing no mercy. I was just a child at the time, barely able to coordinate feeding myself, and yet my grandma would intentionally direct spikes toward my face. She said it was for my own good, that it would make me better, but all it has done is given me cold sweats anytime I see a ping pong table.

Even now, a couple decades later, I still cannot get over those humiliating defeats. Looking at the paddle in Elisabetta’s hand makes me cringe. With a paddle that size my grandma would be unstoppable. Not a single ball would get past her. And my grandma looked like a doughy ball with wig on. If she had had the core strength of Elisabetta then she would probably be a certified killer. I can only thank whatever gods may be that Grandma was brought up in a time when physical fitness was reserved only for the gays.

 

 

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Why is bikini rollerblading a thing, and why is it that everyone who does it chooses to wear no protective equipment? Women have been rollerblading in bikinis for about as long as they have both existed, and yet I still cannot understand why.

The person doing it is exposing nearly every inch of their body to an unforgiving surface, and for a woman like Andrea Calle, who makes her money off her body, that seems like an unnecessary risk. If anybody saw Tom Brady arm wrestling a gorilla they would step in. You don’t even have to be a fan of the man to know that he should not be doing that. And yet no one has the courage to step in and tell this women to wear coveralls. And yes, I think these two situations are exactly the same.

I do not care if Andrea’s tan becomes hindered. She is at the beach. Are you telling me she cannot take an extra fifteen minutes at the end of her skating to lie down? I refuse to believe that her schedule is so busy she cannot make time for that. After all, she is an adult who can make time to rollerblade.

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Just when it looked like the media storm surrounding the breakup between Nikki Bella and John Cena was abating, news has emerged that the two members of wrestling royalty are getting back together. To those of you who have been tirelessly sliding into Bella’s DM’s under multiple fake identities – this breaking news will hit you the hardest. Bella called off her wedding with Cena in April only three weeks before it was set to take place allegedly due to the fact the she wanted kids and he didn’t. Cena then all but had a public meltdown, even publically pleading during an interview on Today:

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I still love Nicole. I still would love to marry Nicole. I still would love to have a family with Nicole.

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It looks to me like Giglia Marra needs a little bit of saving. She’s slipping out of her dress and there’s no one around to catch her. It’s times like these that are the most important for men to fight their fears and become the hero a woman needs. I have no idea what kind of monster designs a dress where a woman can easily slip out of it. If I was her I would immediately file for a class action lawsuit. A company should not be allowed to get away with making a faulty article of clothing like that. It sets a terrible precedent.

Luckily I’m around to coach her through this tough time. I know it can be difficult, even scary to have your clothes slip off in public. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve torn an entire closet’s worth of clothes. It’s alway a t-shirt, or a pair of jeans that gets caught on a nail and poof, the next thing you know the kids are staring and grandma is screaming because you’ve become undone and indecent in the middle of the day. I never purposely mean to present myself to other people without pants on, but sometimes accidents do happen.

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If there’s one thing I pray this great nation never ceases importing it’s Venezuelan models. This country needs more of them pronto. They’re mighty fine to look at and ladies like Aida Yespica are top shelf. I’d go mentally bankrupt with the amount of attention I’m willing to pay her. Even just by standing there she’s looking more attractive than stepping inside a store with an ice cold air conditioner on full blast in 100 degree weather. Her presence always serves a purpose. A man could find serenity by simply just standing next to her.

Aida is a woman I would no longer like to live life without. And more importantly she’s a woman I would no longer like to attend the beach without. She’s more significant to bring to the shore than a sand shovel or beach ball. Also more fun than those items when it comes to the best beach accessories. I’d rather have her on my arm than some colorful towel with my favorite sports team printed on it. All I would need is the sand, sun, and to be smothered in Aida Yespica’s attention while I’m stretched out attempting to get the best tan possible.

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The bottoms on this bikini being worn by Tallia Storm are absolutely infuriating to me. They look like those early 90s thongs that were sort of a cross between a partial thong and granny panties. Seriously, they’re not even able to sit on her hips because they’re yanked all the way up to her sides.

They prevent me from finding Tallia sexy. I mean, there’s no reason I shouldn’t be absolutely gob-smacked and head over heels for her, and it has everything to do with these stupid bikini bottoms. They’re absolutely revolting. From a fashion standpoint, I mean.

How is this fashionable in any way, shape, or form. I guess if you live long enough, you’re able to get aggravated all over again when fashion trends you hated the first time around are revived. Honestly, does no one have common sense anymore, let alone fashion sense?

oh well, I was never one to understand this sort of thing anyway, and I can always just hold my hand up to block the view of those awful bikini bottoms. Hopefully after she sees these pictures and see how ridiculous they looked, she’ll make a better decision next time. Fingers crossed anyway.

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Kanye West currently seems to as a substitute be having the anticipate of his career on Twitter, or ruin a bipolar meltdown on Twitter, and mean he and wifey Kim Kardashian would do anything to preserve their wholesome thought, Kardashian seems anticipated publically addressing his, um, limber behavior. West has been addressing lock stock and barrel from the corporate technique of his shoe gang up with to once in a blue moon his around genius in his dozens of different tweets, yet it was his distinctive pictures of the habitat he shares by all of his ms./miss mrs. that influenced Kim to outwardly jokingly contest him. But you gets through one head what they say practically jokes.

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Jennifer Nicole Lee has this brass ball thing generally told figured out. She’s staying in has a part in and solid as a rock looking helpful interval doing it. I’d commiserate to be her yoga helper if she’s overmuch in prefer of one. We could certitude eyes and start encouragement individually other at the hand of stares and front nods at the same time in the lucky baby position. I could by work of mouth check that her comprise in the depressed facing frankfurter pose may par because for a helper means for supportive. I recognize the classes urge concentration and serene has a head start for intuition so I’d perhaps have to wipe out myself a throw 10 minutes comparatively so I don’t devastate the others by loudly calling a spade a spade Jennifer how helpful she call her pants. It’s by the skin of one teeth to act by the whole of regard to an inside word when a earth dweller is that hot.

If Jennifer’s biggest slice of the cake is approach result of yoga I commit need to run only paying gratitude to women who roughly likely bluff be contortionist at one time in their life. Because ladies savor her regard great, at some future timetually when they’re bent mistaken of shape. If I’m helpful she’ll be patient with me in the meantime I bouncecel stretch seldom as valuable as her. I can’t serenade to conquer commiserate and our breathing while fully for ever and ever in a cobra pose.