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Kylie Jenner, being the rich, sexy, culturally appropriating teen that she is, is currently celebrating her 19th birthday on a Yacht in Turks and Caicos with a series of mega babe models, kind-of-babe celebs by Jenner association, and Donkey from Shrek turned human, Tyga.

I assume Kylie paid for Tyga’s airfare, drinks, scuba diving lessons, food, chlamydia medication, etc., since right before they left for this extravagant birthday celebration, a warrant was released for Tyga’s arrest because he didn’t show up to court for being sued by a former landlord who he, you know, forgot to pay rent to.

Kylie Jenner, being the rich, sexy, culturally appropriating teen that she is, is currently celebrating her 19th birthday on a Yacht in Turks and Caicos with a series of mega babe models, kind-of-babe celebs by Jenner association, and Donkey from Shrek turned human, Tyga.

I assume Kylie paid for Tyga’s airfare, drinks, scuba diving lessons, food, chlamydia medication, etc., since right before they left for this extravagant birthday celebration, a warrant was released for Tyga’s arrest because he didn’t show up to court for being sued by a former landlord who he, you know, forgot to pay rent to.

However, I in no way would wish to trade my 19th birthday for hers, because at the end of the day, I didn’t have to finish my 19th birthday by paying off hundreds of thousands of dollars of my can’t-even-book-a-college-tour-rapper boyfriend’s legal debt, probably paying his child support, and then having to have sex with him. I would rather spend my birthday stink bombing every club in this town rather than having sex with Tyga, who is basically social medias most famous hobo. And I legit mean hobo, because squatters are technically hobos, and just because you happen to squat in mansions doesn’t make you fancy. You can put your trash in gold coloured garbage bags, but it’s still just trash.

Anyway, I could go on a speel speculating how much Kylie 2.0’s Brazilian butt lift cost, but instead I’ll just post this picture of Bella Hadid, who is also in Turks and Caicos celebrating Kylie’s birthday. Yeah. I just really like Bella Hadid.